How do you go about living your life after your loved one has died? I contemplate this question every day and am constantly asked some version of it by well meaning encouragers. I can’t really address this particular question without first addressing my issue with the verbiage. Although my husband has been deceased for over a year now, he is, in fact, still very much alive. The late Billy Graham famously preached, “Someday you will read or hear that Billy Graham is dead. Don’t believe a word of it. I shall be more alive than I am now. I will just have changed my address. I will have gone into the presence of God.”
I think this is one of the most powerful visualizations: to read a person’s obituary and as you see two years enclosing a dash printed in black and white, you know that they are actually more alive than ever. The bible talks about our earthly bodies being like a tent. They are just a shell for our soul to occupy while we walk this earth. It is our souls that will live on in eternity and what we need to focus our attention on. While my husband’s earthly body is gone, I find great comfort knowing he is still with me and has just changed his address.
If you google “How to help a widow,” it must say somewhere to “send facemasks” because I have received a full bathroom drawer full of masks and peels over the last year. I try to set time aside for self-care and am beyond appreciative of the friends who have taken their time to send me little sussies. Through these care packages I was introduced to the concept of a foot mask. These are essentially sets of paper socks you wear on your feet for anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour and then rinse off. The ingredients in the sock then cause the outer layer of skin on your foot to die and slough off. It is weird and grossly satisfying to peel off the dead skin, but the biggest thing I have noticed from doing these masks is that I don’t miss that outer layer of skin even the slightest bit and I have never for a second worried that my foot would fall off or disappear along with my dead skin.
“Now the one who has fashioned us for this very purpose is God, who has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.”
-2 Corinthians 5:5
God knew we would all need some guidance while we lived separated from Him. He knew from the very beginning of eternity that we would need God with us on earth every minute of every day. That is what the Holy Spirit is! When you accept God into your life, the Holy Ghost takes up residency in your soul for all of eternity. Just like when skin peels off of your foot and we don’t have to wonder if our appendage is still there, the ones who walk with the Holy Ghost will never have to worry if they still exist when their outer layer peels off in the form on bodily death.
As someone who is a planner, I don’t always feel secure in my reservations until I have a confirmation. I hang on to receipts and like to have information in writing to refer back to. If I want to get my kids into the best camp or preschool, I’m hesitant to rest assured they actually have a spot until the organization has taken my money and sent a verification of enrollment. In the current real estate market, don’t consider yourself a homeowner until money has exchanged hands and the ink is dry on all parties’ signatures because even if your offer is accepted, someone can still swoop in over asking price. The Holy Ghost is our security deposit. For the Christian, the transaction has already been made, our eternal home has been secured and I hope you all have your receipt!
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